Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
We left the knife in your bed.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
