I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize