Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Randomize
