everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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