I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
You're a waste of cheezeits
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
