Where is the hickey?
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
