big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
