dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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