I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
