end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
