And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Rumble strips road head = magical
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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