I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize