She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
