real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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