It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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