I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
