The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
