another moral hangover. fuck.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
