it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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