she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Congratulations! We have a period
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