Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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