it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Drake has all the answers
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
