Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
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