Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
