My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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