So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize