Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Randomize
