I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
There are leaves in my underwear?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
