So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
