Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
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it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
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My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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