Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize