She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
