lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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