Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize