i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Randomize
