Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
