Yo dont text me then not text me
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.