I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.