I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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