??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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