nutella sex= disaster
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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