You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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