at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
