All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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