help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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