I skipped work to stalk him.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
