there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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