Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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