you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
