She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
