meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Found the puke drawer
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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