forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
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I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
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I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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