just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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