If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
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In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
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Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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