it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Randomize
