why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
