He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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